One day, two University of Georgia students were out turkey hunting for Thanksgiving. One of the students starts having a stroke and he thinks he is dying, and he passes out. The other kid calls the police and says: "Hello, I think my partner here is dead - he isn't moving or anything." The operator replies: "Ok, its ok, go up to him and make sure he is dead." You hear a silence then all of a sudden you hear...BOOM! BOOM! The student comes back on the phone and says: "Yah, I took care of that, what now?"
Why does the St. Johns River flow north? ...... Cuz Georgia sucks!!!!!!!!
Why does a Georgia Bulldog place his diploma on the dashboard?...... So he can park in a handicapped zone!
An FSU grad sees an ad for a $99 cruise. So, he goes down to the travel agent and shells out his money. The travel agent then hits him over the head with a baseball bat, stuffs him in a sack, throws him out the back window onto a raft and cuts the raft loose. The FSU grad wakes up to find himself adrift, along with another FSU grad. The first FSU grad says "I hope they serve dinner on this cruise." The second FSU grad replies, "They didn't last year."
The FSU football team was placed in a remedial English class. The professor asked the class, "Does anyone know what comes after a sentence?" All of the players raised their hands. "The appeal," they shouted with Seminole pride.
Tennessee is the only state where road salt is a seasoning. (quoted from Jay Leno, on The Tonight Show, as he was discussing Tennessee's new road kill law)
Albert Einstein went to a party and asked people their I.Q. ....he asked this guy and the guy said,"120". Einstein said, "great, we can talk about nuclear fission". Then he asked this girl and she said,"110" and he said "great, we can talk about the angle of the worlds axis." Finally he went up to this guy and the guy said,"51" and Einstein said, "how bout them Vols!"
After Bobby Bowden dies and enters the Pearly Gates, God takes
him on a tour.
He shows Bobby a little two-bedroom house with a faded FSU banner
hanging from the front porch. "This is your house, coach.
Most people don't get their own houses up here," God says.
Bobby looks at the house, then turns around and looks at the one
sitting on top of the hill.
It's a huge two-story mansion with white marble columns and little
patios under all the windows. Gator flags line both sides of the
sidewalk and a huge Gator banner hangs between the marble columns.
"Thanks for the house, God. But let me ask you a question.
I get this little two-bedroom house with a faded banner and Spurrier
gets a mansion with new Gator banners and flags flying all over
the place. Why is that?" God looks at him seriously for a
moment. "That's not Spurrier's house," God says. "That's
mine."
What do you call a drug ring in Tallahassee?........A huddle.
What do FSU grads call UF grads?....... BOSS!
Directions to Tallahassee. Go north 'till you smell it. Go west 'till you step in it.
